another valentine

is just another day of my life. another ordinary day. wads the meaning of valentine??

couple holding hands walking around town spending quality time together??
or izit romantic candle light dinner up on the roof top of some building??
maybe just lying down on the grass, under all the bright shinny stars shining down to u n ur significant other...

i never spend any of my valentines day with anybody before. yea true last year i was with daniel,but i was in america. i was totally looking foward for this years valentines. a time for just me n him. turns out no,i guess u guys knw wad happened... but yea,i did hv plans for today. just me n him. he usually will come see me in the morning on staurdays. so,my plan was to cook his favourite dish (chicken chop with pepper sos with a little smash potato n salad). eating his favourite dish while watching tv,or maybe some romantic dvds.after that,it will be like 3pm,he will hv to get back home for church.but before he leaves,ill give him a big hug n a kiss n a very special present that i bought him long time ago.n maybe after church.he will give me a call,telling me how chruch was. n he will get back home,wash up,n talk on the phone the whole night long.telling me how he loves me n telling me about our future together. but plans dosent always work out do they???

the truth is, today,i woke up crying. why?? because i can feel his hands hugging me tightly. his warm shallow breath on my cold cheeks, n his hairy, warm legs tangle up with my legs to give me some warm.i woke up immediately.thinking he was back by my side,i search for him. n when i cant find him,i cried. i cried in the dark of the night feeling so alone with no one to care.i wanted to call him,but i cant.he is not mine anymore.so, i tried to sleep n i cant. i waited until it was about 9am n i sms dee. asking her all sorts of questions about relationships.n this john called me up.

"eunice,pick me up from infinity.im also with my friend,daniel(some other guy name daniel as well)." so i went n pick him up about 11am i think. we went pacific n ate macd n after that,we went skating. it was fun. but as soon as i was done with the skating,i feel so alone again. i saw all those sweet couples holding hands,as if the whole world was theirs. n it reminded me,i was once loved n wanted by him.so anyway,we all went home about 4.30pm. i was so sad n depress,i just feel like lying on the bed n fall asleep.but i didnt. i was smsing with muhaimin (1 of my close fren) telling him how my life suck. n i cried again.he keep saying, "eunice,dont give up. u hv so much ahead of u, n im force to do f6 here. i dont wana see u being sad for the rest of the year." but i cant. i just cant. even after 2 months,i still cant.especially today,a very special day..

so yea,after all that,now,im sitting here typing my miserable life to let u guys read. u wana know eunice?? read,n now,u know me fully. this year,i didnt even touch any of my books. i feel like giving up d. why try so hard when everything is gona end up bad anyway??