my life

seriously,have you ever thought of the meaning of life on earth here?? why people are trying so hard to be successfull in life? what are they after?? better future?? n when they get a better future,they one something else better.. so,they keep chasing this "better thingy".

im 19 this year. i have been going to school since i was 6. that about 13 years of school.. "your purpose now is to study,not doing some kinda random shit." thats what my mom would say (kinda). im doing my f6 now. so after this,im going to university to get my degree in what ever i wana do. so most maybe another 3-4 years more of studying.. (crap.......)

so,i think im old enough to think where my life is heading now?? last time,i plan my whole future with my bf (aka daniel), which dump me as soon as he got me. so back to my story,my future.. what do i wana do?? what am i after?? and this stupid "what-am-i-after-thought" keep lingering in my mind.

do you really wana knw what do i think what are we/people after??
we are going after an illusion. yes,an illusion. things are always not good enough. we always want more n more n more... there is no ending. that,to me,sounds like an illusion.and the worst part is,we work so freaking hard,spending most of our lives chasing this "illusion", and in the end,we leave this earth empty handed.

so what you have loads of money in your LV bag?? so what you have a armani sweater??or even maybe a cartier watch to remind you that your days are getting shotter... when you die,will you be any better than those poor ones?? ashes to ashes,dust to dust.. how rich are you,your shit will still be as smelly as those ordinary people.

now, i will tell you frankly what i want. i want a single story house,just a tiny one will do, so i will feel closer to my family. i want an ordinary family,not rich,well to do will just be enough. because in my opinion,rich people always have weird problems.i want to live hapily for the rest of my life,i dont wana be sad,theres no time for that. actually,i had enough of sadness already..i dont wana be out standing in anyway,i just wana be a "chill n relax" kinda person. n of course,i wana share my happiness with someones else,my soul mate. i guess i never found him yet. that is what i really want. a simply life......