loose some weight... depression 101

honestly,i think i am suffering from depression. i cant sleep, keep thinking about what did i done wrong, why this shit happened to me,i cant eat,cant study.. basically cant do anything apart from thinking about him. i miss him alot.. all im doing is sleep on my bed the whole freaking day,thinking thinking.........

life suck huh?? god always take away the thing that u love the most. why?? i dont know. i thought he is surpose to love us n provide for us anything that we need.. now,GOD,if u r reading this,i need him.. can u get him back for me??? or atleast show me the freaking future,will i endup with him??? i hate suspenses in stories,including mine..

after everything he already put me through,all the drama n roller coaster rides,i still love him. i really mean it when i say ill love him no matter what. love=patients, kind, and endurance.. but,he cant see it.. because,im a sin in his way,a burden.. i have to admite,at this point, i am loving someone who dosent loves me..

do u guys know the story of a painter, vincent van gogh?? a song was written about him,its called stary stary night. its about him,loving his painting much. he paint the world as how he sees it. he was so in love with it,but his paintings cant love him back,cant understand him. n at last,he commit suicide.weirdly,i know what is he thinking now... to love n not to be loved back..

i lost about 8kg. (55kg-47kg).. at first,i didnt believe when everyone was telling me im loosing weight. i was like,i didnt even try to loose any. i just hop on the weighing machine n i was shocked. this happened because i was unhappy.its getting a grip of me,n sadly,i get let it be,i cant do anything anymore.

he said,im annoying him. im selfish (but isent he?? he just left). seek god?? im trying,day n nite,asking him to handle all of dis 4 me,my strength is not enough,i need his. i need it so that i will have him back. to get him back..ask me again,do u think he is the one?? yes,i do think he is the one. the one n only.. seriously,im not gona date anymore.... i hate my life....